Thursday, September 03, 2015

A Girl Genius/Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Fashion Fan-Fic: Report from Vulgarian Agent #1138

This is a fan-fic-y fashion post involving Jägers from Girl Genius, of which I am rather fond.  I recently picked up one of the hardbound compilations of the historical documents (that's what I call them around KlausWulfenbach Outlander in SL), aka the first Omnibus volume, though I had read some online at the Official Girl Genius website.

From Agent #1138, Steamlands Operations Desk
Hallo Mein Baron Bombi.

Forgive me for responding in English, I've spent so much time amongst the Steamlanders that it is easier to report in that Language, Ja?  As you may know I was assigned to follow various and sundry Steamlanders to gather intelligence for our Great Nation of Vulgaria. 

Well then I was assigned to the Steamlander known as Ms. CC Creeggan.  I spent many Jahre studying her, und I know EVERYTING about her.  The clothes she wears, her obsession with redheads, und her obsession with hats. Ms. CC Creeggan is a fashionista.  She shops, it's what she does.  At first glance it would seem she is just some flighty brainless shopping addict, but first glance would be wrong, Mein Baron.   Apparently she was drafted into the Caledon Militia and was promoted to Sergeant.  So how does some fashionista get promoted to non-commisioned officer?  She likes guns, big ones, especially gatlings.  She is Very good with gatlings.

So we have a fashionista who likes guns.  You might think that this is rather common, after all Fashionistas are noted for hunting down those who disrupt their shopping rituals with swords, katanas, guns, und weapons of mass BEWM.  That is verstehe, Mein Baron.

I learned much about her in St. John and Caledon.
One of the things that struck me as interesting was that she seemed to have an affinity for Baron Klaus Wulfenbach.  That might be expected considering Gabrielle Riel is close to him, but with Ms. Creeggan it was different.  She seemed to be "minding" him, watching over him, and always seemed well armed around him.  Not only that, but she was known for clicking her heels und saluting him.

I also discovered that Ms. Creeggan seemed to be FAR stronger und tougher than any fashionista I had seen before.  It was rumored that she had stopped a runaway cargo truck, a Daimler Vehicle No. 42 powered by an internal combustion engine by holding out her hand against it's front fender.  It was also rumored that she could stop potential ruffians by just looking at them, raising her voice, und gesturing towards a VERY LARGE .54 bore handgun that would appear at her waist. 

I managed to bribe a wandering down-on-his-luck seaman in St. John with some rum und he told me of an incident at a dockside pub:

"Now that Miz CC, she aint normal-like.  Hells Bells, she might not even be human.  Maybe she's a demon or some kind of spellcaster, I don't know.  But I saw her toss Baraboo Jack across the entire pub when he got uppity with her after the barkeep called her in to break up a bar fight. And when he came after her with a knife, she disarmed him and BROKE the knife with one hand, and said, and I quote:  " Hyu hain't a very schmot guy, hyu know "  And then she decked him, with one punch.  Lifted him off the floor and carried him back to his ship like he was a purse.  That aint natural.  And she gets shipments labeled "Genuine Fresh Europan Bogz", "Bogz Puree" and "Chocolate Covered Bogz" from someplace called Europa Wulfenbach."

That seemed VERY suspicious so I decided to take a trip to Winterfell, where Europa has an embassy and where the Europan Jägermonsters have a hut. You know of Jägermonsters, Mein Baron, those altered-human warriors who, for the most part, serve the Baron Wulfenbach. Known for their great strength, affinity for big guns and bug eating.

I have managed to sneak into the der Hut des Jäger and found their roster.  In it there is a listing for an "Infiltration agent, Ms. CC" with the description:
"Hyu know, dat redheaded Jäger gurlie vo likes schoes almost as much as hets?  De vun vith de kolor change hepidermoose, retractable fangs, und morpho-chango ears?  Yah her, she makes a goot infiltration agent. Let's send her to de schteamlunds to find schparks und vatch over de Baron und schtuff.  She vill need zum schpeech trainink to schpeak like de non-Jager pipples, but dat kan done viddout too much trubbel.  She's a schmot gurl. It iz a goot plan vith low probability for loss uf hets for everyone.  Authorization: Mamma Gkika"
This changes everything.  instead of just being some wandering shoe-obsessed fashionista, she's a wandering shoe-obsessed, hat-obsessed, utterly dangerous Jäger! Well I suppose there's not really THAT much difference, Fashionistas are known for being rather scary drama filled creatures of avarice und violence.

That said, I do believe this information will require continuing surveillance, und also a promotion.  After all...she's a Jäger.  

Agent #1138

As Agent #1138 was preparing to leave the Hut with his missive, the double doors opened and he saw the familiar face of Ms. CC the Fashionista, but this time her face was green, she was wearing a nice hat, and she was carrying a portable gatling.

"Vere do hyu tink hyu're gun, schmot guy?", said she,  "Hy tink hyu vill need to be hendink over everyddink hyu are karryink, includink you missiff to Vulgaria und hyu schould tink about defectink und retirink... to Zindra vith hall de pretty gurlies on de beaches, yah?  De Baron Bombi von' take kindly to a failure on you part."

Agent #1138 handed over everything without complaint. What could he do, facing a gatling armed Jäger.

She then said, "Dat's a schmot guy, Hy tink hyu vill enjoy you retirement hennyvay, much more fun ten servink dat jerk Baron Bombi"

The Agent thought, "Oh well, alls fair in espionage, and love.  Perhaps he could find a large bosomed oiled up vixen for his very own in Zindra." As he left, he turned and watched the Jager head into the Hut.

I saw this Nikita Military dress when Charlemagne Allen TP'd me over to Valentina E. one day.  She didn't know I was a fan of "V.E."and I didn't know she was a fan of V.E. either.  Anyway, I saw it first and told her she had to have it because it was so Charlemagne-y.  I eventually caved in and got it too.  There's also an all-black/grey, olive green and navy blue versions.

I'm wearing it with the  Lumae Orsimer Adore skin with the included Leevi ears. 

Makeup used is a red gloss from Roslin Petion's Luxuria brand , with Schadenfreude fangs.   I paired it with Lassitude & Ennui's "Flutter" boots.  I had to size them up to M to wear them over the Maitreya body.  Coincidentally, Luxuria, Lassitude & Ennui and Schadenfreude are all located in the Nouveau region.

The dress isn't quite perfect with the body, sadly we don't have enough fine grained control over the alpha, but it's not too bad.  The hair is Magika Honest with the Paulette hat from Pure Poison.

The portable Gatling is one of my cherished SL posessions, being made by the late Nix Sands for his XNT brand. He was a True Gentleman in my book and I still miss him. It is no longer available.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang reference is Vulgaria and Baron Bombi (Bomburst in the film and book), who are often used as "generic steampunk villains" in fiction-y blog posts and stories in the Steamlands.


Lumae skin





Magika hair

Valentina E

Lassitude & Ennui

Pure Poison

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