Wearing purple for GLAAD Spirit Day

GLAAD Spirit Day


What is Spirit Day?

The idea behind Spirit Day, first created by teenager Brittany McMillan earlier this month, is a simple one, not dissimilar to the idea of "Spirit Week" held in many high schools, and can be summed up in three words: Everyone Rally Together.

Spirit Day honors the teenagers who had taken their own lives in recent weeks. But just as importantly, it's also a way to show the hundreds of thousands of LGBT youth who face the same pressures and bullying, that there is a vast community of people who support them.

Purple symbolizes 'spirit' on the rainbow flag, a symbol for LGBT Pride that was created by Gilbert Baker in 1978.

As one of the event's Facebook pages says: "This event is not a seminar nor is it a rally. There is NO meeting place. All you have to do is wear purple."

Wearing purple on October 20 is a simple way to show the world that you stand by these courageous young people and a simple way to stand UP to the bullies. Remember those lives we've tragically lost, and show your solidarity with those who are still fighting. 'Go Purple' today!

http://www.glaad.org/spiritday

At the Cup of Goodness:



Myself, CoG owner Elisabeth Beurling, Icy Rage, Zana Starsider, Dana Starsider, all showing our support. Thank you to everyone there.

My Name is CC and I'm a Girloholic. (with props to Salome)

My former Boss at Linden Lifestyles, Salome strangelove has written a very thoughtful post in regards to her feminism and her "Squee" over SL fashion.

I could tell epic stories about my angst in trying to reconcile my feminism, with my love of femme-y things, and my Transgenderedness. And I do mean epic. I have several threads, one of them 18 pages, on a message board I frequent that are basically all about that issue.

It wasn't till relatively recently, May of Last year, that I got over it...mostly. You see, for many years, I thought that because I was a nerd, I couldn't be a woman because I was nothing like a woman. Also for many years, I thought I couldn't be a woman because I was attracted women (I didn't know that lesbian MTF Transsexuals existed). And there were times that I believed that because I'd go squee over some RL pair of shoes like these Christian Louboutin Anemone's (even if I couldn't actually walk or afford them) that I wasn't "really a TS".

Dear readers, did I ever tell you that I'm amazingly low self esteemy? Even in SL! Just last week I was thinking that perhaps my avatar wasn't pretty enough.

What helped me the most was my friends on the Internets, and the Visible: A Femmethology Volumes.

Am I a feminist? Yes, yes I am. I've identified as such for years. Lets see, I think it was before Anita Hill, somewhere between 1988 and 1990. I began identifying more strongly with feminism with the rise of Third Wave feminism. In fact, it was a series of articles and interviews in Glamour magazine about and by Naomi Wolf and Susan Faludi that did so.

I would describe myself as a pro-porn, pro-choice Third Wave feminist. I'm a practical feminist, I don't go for that deconstruction and theorizing, it hurts my head. I like to keep it simple.

I don't refer to myself as a "girl" or "woman" yet, I feel like I haven't "earned it" yet, but when I was young, I played with my sisters dolls, read her YM and Seventeen, played with her makeup. But that doesn't mean I didn't like Dungeons & Dragon's (got my first set in 81), playing with the Brix Blox Lego knockoffs, and playing video games.

I also sometimes sing the chorus of "I Enjoy Being a Girl" from the Musical "Flower Drum Song", sometimes ironically, but sometimes not, and I have done it while shopping in SL:


When I have a brand new hairdo
With my eyelashes all in curl,
I float as the clouds on air do,
I enjoy being a girl!

Plus (real) size CC

I'm friends with the lovely bear eared fashionista and Fleur CSA Rosie Barthelmess, and every time I'm near her, I kind of feel shame for having an unrealistically slender avatar. Sure my avatar is not as super skinny and amazon tall as some, and not as much as I was, but still, I always have admired Rosie. So while hanging with her today at Fleur, I decided to do a "Real size" CC, with her help and this was the result. I used my standard shape and modded it to something more like my RL shape, but still pretty and pleasing.



Layniewear Audrey Dress, Fleur Truffle Biba 1 skin, Shiny Things classic pumps, Stockings from Adam n Eve, Analog Dog Mia hair in Brown Sugar, and Oval glasses from First Impressions

Yes, I know, my hair doesn't look like this. I wish it did.



And a shot in lingerie from the Adam N Eve Carrie gown



And as a comparison, RL femme mode me, not so young and pretty as even Real Size CC, but similar in style. I'm even wearing faux lashes and I tried to wing my eyeliner, like how avatar me sometimes wears prim lashes and wears Fleur skins with winged eyeliner.



L'Oreal Infallible foundation
L'Oreal Wear Infinite eyeshadow quad in Subtle Sable
L'Oreal Lineur Intense felt tip liner in Carbon black
Andrea Modlash #33 lashes applied using the "put the glue on the lid instead of the lashes" trick
MAC Angel blush
MAC Viva Glam IV lipstick

I haven't decided if Real Size CC will become the Standard Avatar Me or not. I know the shape will make prim skirts more difficult, but I think it's a good thing I made the shape.

For the guys who are gals in SL. respond if you want.

Been reading blog posts lately and saw this response by anony-mouse on a post on Kit Meredith's blog. I know why I play a female avatar, I'm transgendered in RL. But there's folks who don't identify as transgendered who also play female avs. Some do it for business I think, some do it to "explore"and some I think are transgendered but might not have heard of the term or even realize that's what they are.

This post is for all of you born males playing female to respond to, anonymously if you want. It's not really intended for those who do identify as transgendered though you can respond too. I'd like to know how you feel about playing a female av, why you think you do it, how you interact with other avs, anything you want to talk about. If you don't feel comfortable talking about that, tell me what clothes you like, where you shop, that sort of thing.

I'll kind of get things started:

I'm CronoCloud Creeggan, born male, play a female av. I'm transgendered in RL. I would like to do what we call "transition" but such things are very money intensive and I don't have those kind of resources. I've done what some might call "crossdressing" in RL for around 30 years. I like the things that the people who are called "femmes" tend to like. I have an amateur's interest in fashion and makeup. I'm also a very much a geek. :-) I'm not involved in any kind of romantic relationship in SL or RL, in fact I freely admit to having never been on a date in RL. And yes, I'm a virgin. (I know, I know I'm 40 and a virgin) But that's all issues and drama. I don't identify as lesbian in RL, though I did at one time spend much time hanging out in transgender friendly lesbian IRC channels. If I was to transition though, I would identify as lesbian. Lesbian male to female transfolk are actually rather common. As we say, gender identity, and gender object choice (who you want to love and have romantic relationships with) are two different things.

I'm honest in SL about being a born male, it says so in my profile. I decided early on to do that because I joined SL using my "male" nick to participate in a vodcast related chat. The persons in the community related to the vodcast knew me as male. But after I had seen fashionable pretty avatars in SL I wanted one too, so I switched, and decided to admit to why I had done so in my profile. There's a bit of a trend in the transgender to community to try to encourage less secrecy and more openness.

I've not had much trouble in SL in regards to my openness, though it has surprised people and some people I have encountered have openly said they don't get the "why" of it. But that's okay because I don't know why either, it's just the way I am. Now it's your turn, I look forward to reading the responses. If you don't want to respond on the blog, you're welcome to e-mail me, there's a link to my e-mail address at the bottom of the page.

Playing with dolls.

This post on Zoe Llewelyn's Designing Insanity blog for Boneflower, made me cry.

It just hit me all of a sudden.

You see, I'm transgendered, and I have always loved dolls. When I was young, I played with my sisters dolls. I knew I wasn't "supposed" too, but I did. I was always afraid of being caught and bad things happening. When I started wearing my sisters clothes, I felt pretty much the same.

A few years back maybe in 1999 I don't remember, I was given a doll. I had told this person that I had always wanted dolls of my own but never had any and she gifted me with one. I did then buy some dolls, but haven't done so for a couple of years.

It felt pathetic you see, for me a 39 year old "guy" buying dolls. I know there are adult doll collectors, but I just felt ashamed about it. It was bad enough that I'd never been on a date or had sex, but to own dolls. It just, well I just felt all rotten about it. and still do.

Which brings me to SL, which I guess is like dolls. So I'm still playing with dolls. I spend real money on virtual clothes for my doll. I feel ashamed about it, but I love playing my avatar just the same.

I think Zoey's post took me back to that time when I was a scared lonely boy, who wanted to be with the girls, play with the girls, dress like a girl and was very afraid, and played with his sisters dolls.

And now I'm a 39 year old man, who wants to be a woman, but can't, feels very lonely and afraid, and plays with virtual dolls.

I just had to stop writing there for a bit, right now I'm just sad.

Sometimes I get feeling so sad I just want to curl up in a corner and die. Anyway I'm just "stuck" as I call it. I don' t have enough resources and above all I don't want to hurt my family. I've caused them enough pain over "this" as it is.

So I will keep playing my pretty avatar and dream silly dreams and think impossible thoughts.

Avatars and image.

There have been several articles and blog posts recently about "game" avatars and image

On Second Life Arts & Total Entertainment Slatenight: Fantasies of Femininity

http://www.slatenight.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=82&Itemid=40".Avatars, Power and the Ethics of Freedom in Second Life

Online Identities

Blog post on Terra Nova


My Other Self is an Ass Kicking Supermodel

Blog post on Second Style, making reference to the Slatenight articles


The uneasy tension of being Barbie


Making reference to the Terra Nova blog post, My other self

And now for my commentary:

I'm transgendered, some might call me a pre-anything transsexual, some might call me a crossdresser, but I always use transgendered.

I have two regular usernames I use, habit I adopted back in the days when I called myself a crossdresser. I had one (CronoCloud) that I used for general stuff and geeky stuff and another (VeronicaMoonlit visit my little webpage I set up to replace my old tripod site) I used just for transgender related things. I joined SL to take part in a vodcast related chat. To the vodcast fans, I'm CronoCloud. So that's the name I used when I joined and I chose a male avatar so as not to out myself.

And then I found out about the fashion stuff. And as I said in previous blog posts, once I found out about that, I wanted a pretty avatar too. One that felt "right" on that was really "me"
So I changed to a female avatar, and that's what I've been using ever since. I also decided to go ahead an announce my transgenderedness in my avatar's profile. It's right in the first line.

I try to convey a certain tone in my avatar's look, classy, sophisticated and appropriately sexy.I guess you might call my avatar a "lady". That's how I envision her, and I guess thats kind of what I want to be, even though it's not likely to happen in RL due to family and financial issues. Most of the things my avatar has worn, I would wear in RL, if I had her perfect figure of course. I often wear a similar haircolor, browns with a touch of red. My eyes are dark brown instead of that green. My avatar sometimes wears glasses because I do in RL. She's me, if I was a supermodel. :-)

I don't go for "hoochie clothes", I tend to wear business wear and simple dresses:

linen suit from Pixel Dolls:

Houndstooth suit from OPIUM with a new briefcase from Odds & Ends

,p>
And probably the most drop dead sexy dress in my inventory, Taliah Talamscas Schneewitchen. Afriend convinced me to buy it.

Second Life is special to me, it appeals to my fashionista nature and to my transgendered nature.

I have read Naomi Wolf's "The Beauty Myth" so I do understand the social-cultural implications of what I have my avatar wear. But in the end, I guess it comes down to, deep inside I want to be pretty. and since that's not going to happen in RL even if I was to transition, it gets to happen in SL And it's kind of like those times whn I was young, that I was able to play with my sister's Barbies without anyone else knowing.

I might add more to this post as I think of it, I'll link back to it if that happens.